Why Silence Feels So Uncomfortable (and So Necessary)

vasallophoto
Oct 4
3 min read

In my last blog, I shared about busyness — how we wear it like a badge of honor and equate productivity with worth. But as I’ve been reflecting more deeply, I’ve started to notice something else: perhaps it’s not just that we’re busy. Perhaps we’re avoiding something.

Why is it so hard to simply sit in silence?

My Quiet Retreats

For years, my go-to ritual of stillness was our hot tub at home in Santa Fe. After long days of work and parenting, I’d slip into the warm water at night, no phone nearby, no music, just me and the dark sky. Sometimes my daughter would join me, but often it was just me, soaking in the silence.

Before that, I had a different ritual: daylong visits to my favorite spa. I’d drift from the meditation room to the women’s bathhouse to the sauna, hardly speaking to anyone. If I bumped into a familiar face, I’d smile and say a quick hello, then retreat back into my cocoon of quiet. Those were some of my most nourishing days.

Maybe this comes more naturally to introverts than extroverts, but I don’t think silence is a personality trait. I think it’s a practice.

Silence in Bali

Now in Bali, I’m rediscovering those moments in new ways. In the evenings, I sometimes leave my phone plugged in and sit outside by the pool as the sun goes down. Bug spray keeps the mosquitoes at bay while I simply listen — to the rustle of trees, the hum of night insects, the distant chatter of neighbors.

It’s deceptively simple. Just sitting. Just noticing. Just being.

And yet, I’ve realized how easy it would be to fill that space again. At Green School, there are endless activities, talks, and gatherings for parents. I could easily sign up for everything and keep running at the same pace I had in the U.S. But after nearly two years of nonstop busyness, I’m choosing differently. I’m choosing to pause.

What Silence Brings Up

Maybe this is why so many people say they “can’t” meditate. Because when we slow down, when we sit still long enough, emotions we’ve carefully tucked away start to rise. The grief. The fears. The anxieties. The unprocessed stuff we’ve suppressed for years.

Busyness drowns those whispers out. Silence makes them audible.

This is why therapy, journaling, meditation, and even exercise can feel so powerful — they give us ways to safely process what surfaces. But silence itself is also a teacher. It invites us to witness what we’ve been avoiding. To meet ourselves honestly.

Lessons in Stillness

Silence reconnects us to intuition. In the absence of noise, we can hear the voice of our higher self. Answers come not from the scroll or the to-do list, but from within.
Stillness helps us process what we fear. Avoidance may keep us “busy,” but facing our emotions in silence helps us move through them, rather than endlessly outrunning them.
Quiet is necessary for true presence. Whether it’s sitting by a pool, soaking in a hot tub, or walking in nature with no earbuds, silence opens the doorway to presence — with ourselves, with others, with spirit.

We live in an era of constant input. A question pops up, and we Google it. A moment of boredom hits, and we reach for our phones. Every passing thought can be answered with a dopamine hit of distraction.

But what if, instead, we let the question linger? What if we resisted the urge to escape?

What if silence is not something to fear but something to trust? A doorway to spirit. A way back home to ourselves.

And so I wonder: When was the last time you sat in silence, without distraction — and what might be waiting there for you?

With courage and love,

Tania