The Talk I Almost Didn’t Need—Until I Did
- vasallophoto
- May 23
- 3 min read
Why does loss feel so disorienting when life insists on moving forward?
This past season has been one of the most emotionally intense periods of my life. And in Episode 133: “Holding On While Letting Go” of The Courage To Be™ podcast, I decided to open up and share what it’s really been like to navigate the delicate—and often overwhelming—balance of grief and joy, endings and beginnings.
But first, let me take you back.
The Talk I Almost Didn’t Need—Until I Did
Years ago, I went to a talk about grief during the holidays. I wasn’t grieving at the time—I just wanted to hear the speaker. But something they said stuck with me forever: Grief comes in over 100 forms. It’s not just about the death of a loved one or a pet. It can be the end of a chapter, the loss of a job, a move, a diagnosis, or a shift in your identity.
I didn’t know it then, but that talk planted a seed I’d need later—when grief would come knocking in ways I never expected.
The Goodbye That Had to Wait
Just days before my daughter’s birthday, our 17-year-old dog—the one who had been by my side through marriage, motherhood, and building a business—was ready to go. But my daughter, in her gentle way, asked if we could wait until after her birthday to say goodbye.
And I said yes.
It was one of the hardest emotional tightropes I’ve ever walked. My heart was breaking, but I held it together so that my daughter could have her moment of joy. That experience taught me so much about compassion, presence, and timing. Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is wait to fall apart.
When Everything Changes at Once
That moment was just the beginning. At the same time, a dear family friend fell gravely ill. Others close to us have passed away in the last 6 months. And yet, in the middle of that grief, life kept delivering miracles—4 new babies have been born into our extended family.
I was standing in the middle of a swirl: life, death, celebration, sadness. And then came the other goodbyes—the quieter, subtler kinds of loss that don’t get rituals.
We’re moving to Bali soon. That means letting go of almost all our belongings. Renting out our home, which we’ve loved for the past seven years. Watching my daughter finish middle school. Closing loops with a beautiful group of clients.
Welcoming a new cohort. Every one of these changes holds excitement—and grief.
Three Lessons I’m Taking With Me
Grief Is More Than Death
It’s the end of a season, a routine, a relationship, a way of being. Don’t minimize it just because it’s not “tragic.” It still deserves space.
Presence Is a Form of Power
I didn’t “hold it all together” perfectly. I cried. I fell apart. But I came back to presence, again and again. That’s where the healing is.
Joy and Grief Aren’t Opposites
I used to think I had to choose one. But I’ve learned they can walk hand in hand. I can grieve what was and still be grateful for what’s coming.
Why I Shared This on the Podcast
If you’re in the midst of change—or holding it all together while quietly falling apart—this episode is for you. I wanted to create space for all of us to feel what’s real without rushing to “fix” it. To honor the joy and the sorrow. Because that’s where true courage lives.
Listen to the full episode here:
Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do isn’t moving forward—it’s sitting still with what is. Holding space for the endings, the beginnings, and the messy, beautiful middle.
To your success and abundance!
Tania
