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Shoulding all over myself…

My podcast is launching January 24th! Woohoo! That was pretty much my newsletter last week. I was coming off of a full month of sadness, being in grief and here I was sharing what’s coming next.

The day that newsletter was supposed to go out I woke up thinking:

“I shouldn’t send it…

It’s not the right time…

You’re supposed to be in a period of grief and sadness and here you were being all vulnerable with everyone and now you send out your amazing new thing you’re creating…

This seems very bi-polar…

People are going to be confused…"

The newsletter and blog were already set up –yes, many times I batch my blogs and in between I write whatever is showing up.–

Anyway, it was too late to cancel it. It went out.

It made me realize all the guilt, and “shoulds” that we carry with us on a constant basis.

I’m so tired of “shoulding” all over myself.

I was attending one of my classes today and in my sharing, the sadness and grief overcame me, I got a bit emotional sharing about my wins in this past month of letting go of “shoulds.” I remember sharing a couple weeks ago that I didn’t know how I was going to be showing up.

Grief and sadness are tricky, they are sneaky, you never know how or when they are going to show up. I thought I’d been doing pretty good, trying to get back into somewhat of a normal life and routines and…


They just make an appearance at the most unexpected moments.

But this is not what this blogpost is about.

This one is an invitation to let go of all the shoulds in your life, especially going into the holiday season.

Here’s all the shoulds that I decided to ignore, release and feel ok about them.

  • I should decorate the home with holiday decorations – I didn’t have the bandwidth, the energy or the excitement for it.

  • I should be showing up to my recordings and connection calls today – didn’t have capacity to hold space to interview others

  • I should be cooking my own meals instead of getting take out. – Again, I haven’t had the bandwidth or energy to cook healthy meals for myself.

  • I should be picking my daughter up from school and spending time together these days – Again, my energy levels have been rock bottom because I haven’t been getting good night sleep and if there’s an option for aftercare she’ll be fine.

  • I should be sending out cards and gifts to friends and colleagues for this season. – Do you start seeing the pattern? I haven’t had the energy this year and they will have to understand.

  • I should be working during the holiday to catch up with the 2 weeks of lost work – I committed to not working during the holiday so me and team Courage To Be will be taking off.

I’m not going to bore you with the whole list, it goes on and on and I invite you to think about your lists of “shoulds”

Are you doing things because they are expected from you or because you truly want to do them?

Take out a pen and paper and journal on this, are you the goodie-two-shoes that just wants to please everyone and abide by what's expected of you?


Do you set boundaries and honor what your needs are?

And if you do fall into the category of being an amazing “should slave” I invite you to ask:

“who’s voice is this?”

“Do I really have to do this or want to do this?”

Lastly, what are one or two things you “should be doing” that you can let go of?

Please share with me, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

Have a wonderful holiday season!

PS: Team Courage To Be will be closed after this week. I will connect with you again in the new year. Love you and have a happy, merry holiday!


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